Choosing a Path to Self-Discipline

If I were to honestly write down all of my weaknesses, self-discipline would be at the top of the list.

My tendency is to resist schedules and routines, to make plans that will never be followed, and to drift through my days doing what I want, when I want.

In yogic terms, you may say I have too much santosa and not enough tapas. (Though I am working on that!)

What are santosa and tapas? We'll get to that, but, first, let's ask a more basic question: Is self-discipline something you have or something you do?

We often talk about someone having discipline. As if it's a resource that can be stored or used. As if some people walk around with an invisible bucket of discipline that lets them complete miraculous feats, while you just stand there—holding your tiny thimble of discipline—and enviously wish you had enough to spend on your goals, too.

Or forget the bucket. Maybe discipline is a magic suit of armor that protects its lucky wearers from distractions and obstacles, while you are left shivering in the cold, naked and vulnerable to all of life's temptations.

But that's not how self-discipline works.

Self-discipline isn't something that you carry around in a bucket and it isn't a protective suit. It isn't something you have at all. Self-discipline comes from action.

Self-discipline comes from all the tiny choices you make throughout your day.

Do I wake up early for Sun Salutations or get 15 extra minutes of sleep? Do I eat oatmeal or a brownie for breakfast? Do I take the stairs or ride the elevator? Do I go to the gym or to happy hour after work?

Sometimes the choices are easy and other times they are really, really hard. For everyone.

Even the most disciplined person you will ever meet struggles with their choices, too. There are days where they are happy with their choices and days where they are not.

But here are three important things to remember about those choices:

1. You get a LOT of them

Choices keep coming at you all day long. Having self-discipline doesn't necessarily mean making the "right" choice every single time. It means being aware that you always have a choice. It means noticing when you make choices that help you reach your goals and when you make choices that lead you astray.

Self-discipline includes a lot of self-correction and non-judgment. You won't always pick the "right" choice and that's okay (see #2 below). But even when you make choices that lead you from your goals, you always have more choices to get you back on track.

2. The "right" choice may not always be right

Everything in life comes back to balance. Too much self-discipline can lead to deprivation and negative results. Sometimes you need to eat a brownie for breakfast, metaphorically or literally.

The second limb of Pantanjali's eightfold path discusses niyamas or personal observances for maintaining your inner world. Santosa and tapas are two of the five niyamas listed.

Santosa can be described as contentment. It is appreciating what you have and living in the moment. In contrast, tapas is more in line with austerity or gaining control of your senses. It is the driving force that works toward future goals.

These two opposing concepts balance each other and are each important in their own way. Self-discipline, or tapas, is tempered by allowing yourself time to rest, to indulge, and to simply appreciate the moments along the way.

3. New choices get easier with practice

Self-discipline may lead to changing the way you approach certain areas of your life. If you're used to eating cookies, choosing a piece of fruit instead may feel strange. If you're used to sleeping in, getting up for a pre-breakfast walk or yoga session may be a real struggle.

You may always have to push a bit, but choices that feel like challenges do get easier with practice. Especially when you start to see rewarding results.

If self-discipline is something you struggle with, try building it up gradually. Start by being aware of the choices that come up throughout your day. Choose one or two goals and make choices that lead you closer to them. Notice the results of your choices and use tools, like journals or charts, to keep track of your progress.

Over time, your choices will create new patterns and rituals in your life. Appreciate the value that you find through self-discipline and work toward seeing it as a freedom, rather than a limiting force in your life. After-all, self-discipline is merely a series of choices. Choices that will eventually lead you toward your life goals.